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Sunday, July 27, 2008


35 weeks today; 35 days left.

This has FLOWN. i cannot believe we'll be meeting Mr. Jaxon in the next few weeks.
As I'm getting into the "uncomfortable stage"; I must say that while I'm ready for him to be here; I just cannot believe we'll have TWO. i'm going to re-post this writing on loving two:

I walk along holding your almost 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow Of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you? Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me." And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't," Knowing in fact, that I never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again. But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him -- as though I am betraying you. But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are setting into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two. There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the look between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how he adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply. I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

I find myself hugging Jordan a little tighter, playing legos a little longer, and just enjoying everything about us being a family of 3 for now. My friend and I had a long conversation about it last night. I am so ready to be a mommy of two and for Jordan to have a brother!

I thought it would be neat to highlight the differences in these 2 pregnancies. It's crazy.

Morning sickness every day with Jordan until 14 weeks.
NO morning sickness this time.

Weight gain of 60 lbs with Jordan due to pre-eclampsia.
Weight gain of 15-20 lbs this time. No signs of pre-e yet.

Couldnt wear shoes after about 30 weeks with Jordan.
Wearing all my shoes this time!

No wedding rings after 20 weeks with Jordan.
Still wearing them today!

Multiple trips to the specialists with Jaxon.
No trips with Jordan.
Huge miracle as Jaxon's lat. vent. measurements are now in NORMAL range! We know that this is not by chance.... the waiting begins. since i was induced with Jordan i'm looking forward to just waiting it out and seeing what happens with this one. but the planner in me would also love to know when. we'll see! it'll be a great month of preparing, wondering, and finally meeting this new little guy.

we'll be sure to keep ya posted!



Blogger mcgintys said...

Tara...I love that about the 2. It's going to be great when Jaxon gets here and Jordan will love him and be a great big brother. Time is ticking away. Can't wait to meet then little guy!

7/29/2008 9:13 AM  

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