a picture is worth way more than a thousand words.

i think this has to be my favorite picture from vacation. it says. so much. about where we are at the moment. still so "new" to this diagnosis. there are days i forget that it exists. there are days when it is all i can think about. autism. some days i despise the word. because what i see, when i look at my son, is just jordan. jordan...so bright, full of love for life and lots of life to live! right now we are very much in the "gray area" of this whole mess. there are still so many unknowns. sometimes i'm up at night....here (are a few of) the questions....

what therapies does he need? how much? will insurance pay? what school? when? do we move to get to the "better" school district? will our house sell? will we find a new house? should i go back to work? who will care for jax while j is at school if i go back to work? why did this happen? why did we get denied services from Florida Parishes? will we win our appeal? should we have appealed? what caused this? will jaxon have it too? what does the future look like for J? is there a cure?

no answers at the moment, for any of them....but there is a surety. My Loving Savior and My God, who knows jordan completely....who knows us all, and who Holds us in His hands. He WILL help us. He KNOWS what J needs...before we ask. he knows the days when i am weak, when i seek answers and try to do things in my own strength. i admit that i do that far too often.

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of The Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

we are...SO BLESSED. there is a boy in speech at the same time as jordan. he is a week older; but has no words. i cant imagine to heartache...but at the same time i find myself wishing many times i could just have a conversation with my son. then i go back to feeling guilty when there are others so much worse off than him.

we should know much more about things after his "big" school system evaluation in october. meanwhile, we are seeking wisdom from the Lord about how to proceed as far as schooling options and therapies. please pray with us. thanks!