summer is here!

and this is what we plan on doing in the afternoons!




jordan is so glad mommy began work at north cypress so he can take advantage of their awesome pool! i must say he's quite the cutie in his suit and he LOVES LOVES LOVES the water.

here he is after a long day of swimming....just exhausted....

revival!

jordan enjoyed his first revival. asah preached from sunday-tuesday at faith baptist church in colquitt, ga. his dad is the pastor there. they are such wonderful, sweet people and we enjoyed spending time with everyone and jordan especially enjoyed the piano!

this video is of him clapping after the songs and playing for the crowd before the services. i guess you could call it the prelude....

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

while asah preached i took him to the back and we hung out. this particular night we watched elmo. it was 2 hours past his bedtime. he was soooooooo sleepy!

jaxon update-05/22/08

thanks be to God!

the concern was that there was too much fluid in the ventricles of the brain (hydrocephalus). the news is that while the levels are slightly elevated and will need pretty close monitoring, for right now it is not moderate or severe, only elevated. "High normal" is what the specialist called it.

"Normal measurement" would be considered 8-10 mm on an ultrasound measurement of the ventricle. Jaxon's measure anywhere from 8-11 mm.

I go back in 2 weeks to see how the measurements are. We will continue to be monitored throughout the remainder of the pregnancy.

Our God is Good! We breathe sighs of extreme relief; and I know we'll be resting well tonight.

He is measuring great in every other way...2 lbs exactly and everything physically looked good.

I know that this is a result of some fervent prayer to God and I want to let you know our sincere thanks for everything you've done for us over the past week and a half of waiting.

We will continue to keep you posted, please continue to pray that the fluid levels stay the same; even decrease a bit.

The doctor said we're not "out of the woods" yet...that there are elevated levels...but I feel complete peace and am soooooooo grateful to God for answering so many prayers.

More Info and Medical Explanation-

Wikipedia

OB Focus Info

Children's Hospital Boston Link-Great Explanation

I'll close with some pretty amazing pictures of our baby from today.



nose and lips

sleeping at the end of the ultrasound with his hand on his face

in case you were wondering if he was still a boy....

foot

big strong arm

a bit of the face

sweet jaxon this week

i am so blessed to be able to "see" these fetal models each day and know how big our baby boy is getting. i was pretty amazed at this weeks model. he is getting BIG!
the "stuff" covering the model is baby powder. they get all sticky from people handling them so we keep them fresh by powdering them :)



i even held it to my belly so you can see how big he's getting.


thank you for your prayers for jaxon this week.

tomorrow

i woke up very early this morning and realized that tomorrow is the day that seemed so unreachable last week.
we've made it though. i have no idea how but we've made it.

no matter what there are a few things I'm sure of:

Whatever we find out will be no surprise to God!

Whatever we find out we can face because of our relationship with Christ and the hope that we have for the future!

Whatever the news God will equip us to handle it; and we will all be ok.

Please continue to pray as we go to see our baby tomorrow via ultrasound and consult with the specialists there at Womans Hospital in Baton Rouge.

Pray that the next 24+ hours pass quickly.....

Our prayer has been and will continue to be that God miraculously heals Jaxon and that there is NOTHING wrong tomorrow.

We will let everyone know as soon as we know something.

Again, all the meals, emails, cards and phone calls have carried us through the past 10 days. We are blessed beyond measure with such awesome friends and family. Thank you so much.

when sad, anxious, worried....

just hang out with this little guy.

we bought him a pair of sunglasses on a recent walmart trip and he's been wearing them ever since. he even pushes them back on his head and says "cool dude". i love this little man!

dont push

well, at least he's learning!

i walked into the living room yesterday and asah had left espn classic on. there was an old mike tyson boxing match showing.

Jordan was yelling at the screen....

"Don't push!" "Be NICE!!!"

I laughed about that the rest of the day.

one foot in front of the other.....

and dont forget to breathe.

when i asked asah how on earth we were going to get through the next week and a half on the day that we found out; this is what he told me. so far it's worked. "one foot in front of the other and breathe"....repeat.

we've been trying to keep busy; doing fun things with Jordan and have been so blessed by the kindness of friends. The meals keep coming and it is so wonderful to feel so loved by all the phone calls and emails. we know we arent facing this alone!

this week jordan began doing something that i've been waiting for a long time. he began to tell us he loves us. except it sounds like "i, you, mommy" or "i, you, daddy". and it usually follows when we tell him the same. still, it has been wonderful. and so timely.

this weekend's been some good family time. on friday i began my 5th (part time) job....this one is at the new gym in town North Cypress. I'm doing the Kids Korner on Fridays. it has been a great escape. asah came to work out and Jordan had fun playing (as long as mommy was in there). it has a pool and i cannot wait for the right weather to come along so jordan and i can jump in! Friday night a friend came over (thanks MEGAN) and asah and i went out for coffee and had a great talk. we pretty much let all the emotions from this week pour out and it was good to get things off our chests and just be very open and honest about how we were feeling with one another.

yesterday jordan and i did a little shopping in covington then after his nap we went to a neighbor's crawfish boil. it was just good to get out of the house for a bit. this week will be work and stuff but we're planning on taking Jordan to the Baton Rouge Zoo. On Wednesdays from 3-5 it's only $1 to get in (for all you locals who are reading!). I think he'll love seeing the animals.

So that's how we're going to make it to Thursday....and beyond. Just keep doing what we're doing! I'm looking forward to sitting in worship alongside Asah today (probably a once or twice a year thing since he's usually preaching).

Thanks to all who are reading, praying, and encouraging us. It has helped so much.

in the waiting

Pain
The gift nobody longs for, still it comes
And somehow leaves us stronger
When it's gone away

Pray
I try and pray for Your will to be done
But I confess it's never fast enough for me

It seems
the hardest part is waiting on You
When what I really want
Is just to see Your hand move

I want a peace beyond my understanding
I want to feel it fall like rain
In the middle of my hurting
I want to feel Your arms as they surround me
And let me know that it's okay
To be here in this place
Resting in the peace that only comes
In the waiting

Time
Time to let it go and just believe
Trusting in what no one else but You can see

Free
Freedom from the fears that close me in
When I can't get beyond where I have been

But then again
The silence doesn't mean that I'm alone
As long as I can hear
That I am still Your own

In the waiting...

(greg long)

just a great reminder

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

psalm 139

not kidding

i was trying to think of a clever title for this post...but this is all i got. if i told someone everything that had gone on in just a few short days i think one response may be "are you kidding?" the funny thing is; everything else has seemed so minor in comparison to the news from monday.

let me fill you all in...then i'm going to list some of the huge blessings of the week. God has not forsaken us. and He's showing His immeasureable love to us in spite of the madness around us......

it's been 3 nights since we found out; and in those nights i have not slept a full one (or anywhere close) yet. just cant rest my head to well so i usually end up on the couch surfing the internet. the first night (monday) i was doing just that and decided to check out our bank account. i was surprised to see that the balance read "$0.00". i mean, other times i wouldnt be surprised....we struggle a lot of months to make ends meet but there was supposed to be money in there this time. so i checked it out and someone got our checking account information and created a fraudulent check to walmart to the tune of $870. that is a ton of money! (to us) so i get on the phone with Chase at 2 am and start the long process of sorting everything out. As of today we have a credit pending and the money should be ours again soon.
Normally this would be a huge worry but it just seemed so minor compared to everything else.

So last night rolls around and these huge storms pop up in our area. Gigantic storms. Torrential rain. We were relaxing on the couch when i felt my foot get wet. I didnt even want to look up. Our roof was leaking. Asah went to the attic and found THREE leaks. Not kidding. In a fairly new house with a fairly new roof I might add. Now again, this would top my list of worries on any other day, but last night we just put some buckets up there and laughed. We have no idea how much fixing a roof costs but it cant be cheap right? So i'm not superstitious by any means but "they say" that tough things happen in 3's and i'm praying that was our 3rd trial......

Now, some blessings from the week.

-Asah doesnt preach this Sunday. I know that seems like an odd blessing; but he spends a TON of time weekly focusing on sermon prep. I love that about him. But this week there wouldve been no way to do that the way he likes to. We were already scheduled to be out of town so that he can preach a revival next week so he had Andy Wayne (our assoc) do a series starting this Sunday. This gave Asah time to be with us....and not to worry about this Sunday as much.

-Our wonderful, thoughtful, beautiful Church family has been bringing us meals since we found out. I cannot say how much this has blessed us. Not having to "think" about things such as dinner has really ministered to me. These days I'm doing really well to take care of myself and Jordan much less think about grocery store trips and cooking. THANK YOU to any of our church family reading. We love you!

-Tuesday night some dear friends came over to pray with us. It was a sweet sweet time. Jordan especially blessed my heart during the prayers. After each person finished he gave a hearty "Amen!". sweet boy.

-Ever since Monday Jaxon has decided to move, kick, and squirm like crazy, seemingly non stop. I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to get those strong kicks and punches. It's almost as if he's telling me he's ok...

Now, I guess I need to wrap up this forever long post. I know that people want to know how to pray; and to keep them posted....so I figured I'd take the time to write out these thoughts from this week (I'm up anyway so why not?!?!?)

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, kind words and love during this time of craziness in our lives.

i have a shelter

I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely
O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You’ll bring me home to heaven


this song was playing in my car as i drove away from the doctors office on Monday. it has been playing on repeat ever since.

a great distraction

jordan had fun trying on my boots today. he was being really silly. all his hugs, kisses, and antics have helped in such a time of uncertainty and fear. he is a gift from God...and a blessing to us.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

tonight

it's nighttime; our house is quiet. exactly 8 hours since i found out the news from the ultrasound. as i tucked jordan in and prayed with him tonight i read the lyrics to a song that are painted on a canvas above his bed. it's something that john piper wrote about on a blog awhile back; he prays this over his daughter while tucking her in; so i loved it and wanted to paint it for jordan. anyway, the words comforted me in a very sweet way tonight.

Come rest your head and nestle gently,
And do not fear the dark of night.
Almighty God keeps watch intently,
And guards your life with all his might.
Doubt not his love, nor power to keep,
He never fails, nor does he sleep.

thanks for the prayers and support,
tara

be anxious for nothing

but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

phil 4:6-8

i guess i never really thought i'd have to write an update like this one....my ultrasounds have usually gone well and we've always been given the "a-ok" from the doctors with both pregnancies so far.

today, just hours ago actually, i went in to have an ultrasound to see if my placenta had moved. it had! that was a concern earlier and they were just double checking to ensure that i'd be able to deliver without a c-section.

i was really grateful for the news, but that joy became worry as the ultrasound tech spent a little too much time (in my opinion) focusing on Jaxon's brain. she stayed there quite some time and something didnt feel right. asah was with me for the ultrasound but left to go get jordan so i stayed back for my followup appointment.

my heart sank the minute my doctor walked in. she wasnt her usual smiley self. she shot straight with me, something isnt quite right with the way the brain is developing. there is something with the ventricles and fluid in his brain that is not right. the rest of it is all a blur. my heart was beating so fast i really couldnt focus on what else she said. we have an appointment with a specialist for an ultrasound at Women's in Baton Rouge on May 22.

until then, we humbly ask for prayer. i am numb and have no idea what any of this means. i asked the doctor for specific outcomes and she really could not say. i just wanted to be prepared but i really dont know what for. the next 10 days of the unknown will be difficult.

we were scheduled to leave for GA that day but have moved our trip back a bit. please please pray, and i wish i could tell you what for. pray that the "peace of God; which trancends all understanding" will guard our hearts and minds over the next 10 days. pray that i will continue to trust, even when i dont know what's on the other side of this. pray that God will go before us and prepare us for whatever this may be.

thank you.

deal of the week: free/cheap cereal

there's a $3 off coupon out for LiveActive Cereal making it free most places (including Walmart).

also, there's a $2 off Honey Bunches of Oats cereal (w/chocolate clusters) making it free at Walmart.

and the Kashi printable coupon you get for signing up on their site gives you a $2 off coupon as well. They have a couple cereals priced 2/$5 at Walmart making them 50 cents.
Note: you must create an "account" on their site to access this one.

Most of these coupons will allow you to print two if you hit the back button on your browser after the first one prints.

pretty great bargains if you need some good cereal.

a "wet" crawfish boil

the storms decided to move in just as the crawfish boil was beginning, but it didnt stop the fun!

jordan had several clothing changes and truly enjoyed himself. he was soaking wet and splashed and played in all the puddles.

asah did another fabulous job boiling!

big helper

the other day i was getting ready for small group and cleaning like crazy. jordan wanted to help so i took off part of the handle of the swiffer and i was AMAZED by the quality of his work. he got every nook and cranny and truly cleaned our floors. his very first chore! guess we need to start talking allowance. just kiddin.